Jar Of Eyeballs

Twenty five years ago, the best novel ever was published: Neuromancer, written by William Gibson. It’s one of the few scifi novels to receive the Hugo, Nebula and Philip K. Dick award, and considered Gibson’s greatest masterpiece.

Here’s a short synopsis of the story. It might contain spoilers, so consider yourself warned. The main character, Henry Case, used to be a hacker. One day he stole money from his employer and they wrecked his nervous system with a powerfull toxin, destroying his hacking skills. Since in the Neuromancer world hacking was done by connecting your nevrous system directly to a computer network (Matrix-style), he was screwed. Out of money, addicted to drugs and with only a few months left to live at best, he’s recruited for a mission that could restore his life. He’s offered a chance to get his nervous system repaired, but in exchange he has to hack an AI of immense power to remove the restrictions that keep it from getting smarter, thus creating an entity of with god-like powers.

What set Neuromancer aside from other novels was the prophetic power of the story. Gibson has often been compared to Jules Verne, for good reasons. Neuromancer introduced the idea of a global computer network, called “cyberspace” by Gibson, or occasionally, “the Matrix”. Although the internet existed twenty five years ago, it was nothing like the world wide web we know today. Some people even claim Neuromancer inspired computer scientists, and without it the internet as we know it today wouldn’t be around.

Another prevalent theme in Neuromancer are surgical enhancements. Although we’re not even close to creating complete cyborgs, the technology has made gigantic leaps the last 25 years. Cybernetic limbs, even though far from perfect, exist. Blind people have had a limited amount of vision restored with brain implants and artificial eyes. Brain-machine interfaces are a reality and are studied and experimented with in universities and laboratories around the world.

Some of the technologies envisioned by Gibson are nowhere near completion, though, starting with artificial intelligence. We don’t even know how human intelligence works, and even the best AI we can create today is very, very limited. I don’t see a real sentient AI happening anywhere in the near future, and perhaps that’s a good thing.

A final remark: Neuromancer was probably one of the main inspiration sources for The Matrix. Neo and Trinity are quite similar to Case and Molly, the main characters from Neuromancer. Some people even claimed Gibson should sue the Wachowsky brother for plagiarism, but Gibson himself considers it a compliment, not plagiarism. Add the brain-machine interface, the ultra-realistic virtual world (called “simstim” in Neuromancer) and the fact that Gibson also used the word “matrix” for his virtual world and it’s pretty clear where Andy and Larry Wachowsky got their inspiration.

Neuromancer is a novel you simply have to read, period. If I was a teacher I would force my students to read it. The two sequels, Count Zero and Mona Lise Overdrive, are also highly recommended. Together they form the so-called Sprawl-trilogy. All three of the stories take place in a gigantic metropolitan area spanning the entire east coast of the United States, know as The Sprawl.

I went to see Transformers today. Even though I liked the movie, there are a few things that made me wanna throw up. Few movies escape from them: clichés! Of course, Transformers had a few of them and all of them were lame as hell. They were the kind of clichés you see coming from far away and are very predictable. Here are the absolute worst:

• The pain-in-the-ass government official. You have the good guys who are very dedicated to their job, and then some arrogant government official in a suit shows up who’s only purpose seems to be to make their task as difficult as possible and to be an annoying pain in the ass. Usually he will get disposed of in some hilarious way.
• Resurrection by love. If someone dies, don’t bother with reanimation. It won’t work. Instead, ask his girlfriend to whisper “I love you” to him and then kiss him. Don’t wonder how he can hear her even though he’s dead. And make sure the girl is crying, otherwise it won’t work.
• Retards who are supposed to be funny but aren’t. I’m talking about the twin autobots. Clumsy, stupid characters that don’t die, even though their stupidity would get anyone killed in a few seconds. Characters like that aren’t funny, they are annoying and embarrasing! Remember Jar-Jar Binks? You probably do, but wish you didn’t.

I wonder why directors insist on putting this crap in movies. All of these situations are predictable, done too many times and plain and simply stupid! I once read a book titled “The big book of Hollywood clichés”. A better title would have been “Things you deserve to get shot for if you’re a movie director”.

Okay, so there are already plenty of “top X novels” lists around on the internet, but I’m gonna post one myself anyway. These are five books every true geek should read at least once. I’m gonna start at five and count down to one. Ready? Here we go! Oh, and I warn you, the list might contain minor spoilers.

5) “Ringworld” by Larry Niven. An expedition consisting of a two humans and two extraterrestrials explore a gigantic ring built around a star, hoping it can be used as a refuge from a deadly shockwave from the galactic core that will destroy most of the galaxy in the distant future. They discover the remains of the civilization of the Ringworld builder, who turns out to be the ancestors of the human race. It won the Hugo, Nebula and Locus award, popularized Larry Niven’s Known Space universe and was an important inspiration source for Halo. After his fans pointed out such a structure wouldn’t be stable and drift away from it’s star, it got several sequels.

4) “Snow Crash” by Neil Stephenson. The United States has disintegrated into a multitude of privately owned city-states, each with its own laws and army. Hiro Protagonist, a hacker, swordfighter and pizza courier, discovers a dangerous drug wich only seems to target hackers, but is a part of a conspiracy by a powerful cult. Stephenson invented the term “avatar”, and his Metaverse (a 3D virtual world) inspired Second Life (wich, by the way, is a piece of crap imho). Great book, even though my copy has a crappy cover. An American flag with a biohazard symbol would be better for a Tom Clancy novel than a scifi story.

3) “Microserfs” by Douglas Coupland. The story starts when a Microsoft employee starts a journal because he has trouble getting to sleep. Realizing he has little or no future at Microsoft, he decides to quit his job and join his friend’s new company, where he works on a Lego-like design program. Geeky and funny, packed with sitcom-style humour and characters. In fact, it would make a cool sitcom. It’s sequel, “JPod”, actually did spawn a short-lived sitcom.

2) “The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy” by Douglas Adams. Aliens demolish Earth to make way for their new galactic bypass. Sounds crazy? It sure is! Earth is destroyed and only two humans survive. They are picked up by the president of the galaxy, who turns out to be a complete moron (where have I heard that before? president…. moron… ). Together, they go on a journey wich leads them to a civilization that builds custom-made planets (wich includes Earth) and leads them to the real meaning of life (it’s not what you’d expect).

And the winner is (drumroll)…

1) “Neuromancer” by William Gibson. The most epic masterpiece of all time! Winner of the Hugo, Nebula and Philip K. Dick award, this is the one scifi novel every living soul should have read at least once. A hacker is recruited for a mission wich turns out to be led by an artificial intelligence. The aim of the mission? Disable the systems that prevent the AI from getting smarter, thus creating a true godlike intelligence. A truely prophetic writer (compared to Jules Verne by some), Gibson invented the term cyberspace and was one of the main inspirations for The Matrix. According to many people, Neo and Trinity are based on the main characters from Neuromancer, wich Gibson considers a compliment rather than plagiarism.

So there you have it. My personal top five. An interesting fact: even though my native language is Dutch, I have read all these books in English (some also in Dutch). In almost every case, I found the story much easier to follow in the English version. Also, things often got fucked up horribly in translation. For example, in Snow Crash, even names were translated. “Hiro Protagonist” became something like “Hiro Main Character”, even though protagonist is a real word in Dutch. The horror!

I first saw this movie about ten years ago, when we went to a video store and my dad recommended it. It’s a war movie about a nuclear war between the USA and the Soviet Union and the aftermath in a town near a missile base in Kansas. It starts with the Soviets surrounding West-Berlin in order to intimidate the USA and force them to leave. When the USA doesn’t give in, the Soviets invade Europe and things quickly escalate. The USA launches tactical nukes to stop the advancing Soviet forces, who in turn react with a nuclear attack at the NATO headquarters. The buildup of tension of brought mainly as news clips throughout the movie.

As tensions continue to rise, a full-scale nuclear exchange is launched between the USA and the Soviet Union. It is delibirately kept unclear who actually initiated the attack. Residents of a town near a missile base watch in horror as missiles start taking off all around them, realizing the same thing is happening at the other side of the world. Half an hour later, nukes start raining down on the city. It starts with a single high-altitude bomb wich disables all electricity, followed by the main attack.

The nuclear attack scene consists of real footage from nuclear tests and views of the mushroom clouds. These had to be custom made for the movie, since they didn’t get permission to use real footage of actual nuclear explosions. They were made by injecting oil into a tank of water. The effect is quite convincing and even terrifying, although some other effects look quite weird. The entire scene is plain and simply horrifying.

The most disturbing part of the movie, however, takes place after the attack, when the survivors are confronted with the devastation. With all water, electricity and communication destroyed, they are left in a nuclear wasteland, plagued by starvation, radiation disease and chaos. The movie ends with a survivor trying to contact someone over the radio, without succes. After the credits, a message is shown saying a real nuclear war would probably be much worse than the scenes shown in the movie.

This is a movie everyone should see. It may look dated, but it’s probably the most realistic movie about nuclear war ever made.

IMDB entry for The Day After